Supporting a transgender family member can require a large amount of time and energy. I know this path as a trans person is even more difficult. It…… Read more “Life Continues During Transition: Stress, Bills, & More”
This month, August 2017, marks two years since my spouse came out to me as a transgender woman. While I am amazed at how far we have come as a couple and a family since that day, looking back now, I am in awe of my wife’s courage.
My wife and I did not think about growing our family before she started hormones. Our first priority was to get her on hormones as soon as possible for her mental health. Hindsight being 20/20, things would have been much easier baby wise now if we had thought this through a bit more.
If you have a little forethought before medically transitioning (starting hormones), you can bank or freeze your swimmers or eggs.
While the traditional Mother’s Day scene is expected, let’s not forget to celebrate all mothers (not just the obvious). Carrying and birthing a child is hard work but it does not make motherhood just as being a woman does not make a mother.
When my spouse told me she was transgender (mtf), we were living our lives according to prescribed gender roles. We knew we were ‘unique’ people but we really weren’t that different from any other white, suburban families in our community. During the last (almost) two years of transitioning, I felt for the first time in my life what it is like to different: not fat, tall, or blonde but intrinsically different.
The summer of 2013 found me, my husband (soon to be transgender wife), and our 6-month-old daughter living in a mid-rise in downtown Austin, Texas. Our apartment overlooked the Colorado River and picturesque sunsets through our 3rd floor windows. In the evenings, when my husband would return from work. I would have some sort of thrown together dinner prepared for us to enjoy as a family (wife, husband, & daughter). Our little living room was warmed by the sun’s setting and our daughter’s sweet smile.
When my transgender spouse transitioned, I fell in love with her again.
Microaggressions are little attacks on people of marginalized groups. When my wife and I came out, we were not met with overtly obvious hate. We were introduced to microaggressions instead.
Google search ‘how to tell children about a transgender parent’ and find some really strange advice. There is no how-to guide. My wife and I found our own way to come out to our daughter. This is my family’s story.
After my partner told me he was trans, we rode a roller coaster of emotions together for nearly 6 months rocketing us up ‘what ifs’ and plummeting us through ‘should haves’.