When my spouse told me she was transgender (mtf), we were living our lives according to prescribed gender roles. We knew we were ‘unique’ people but we really weren’t that different from any other white, suburban families in our community. During the last (almost) two years of transitioning, I felt for the first time in my life what it is like to different: not fat, tall, or blonde but intrinsically different.
After my partner told me he was trans, we rode a roller coaster of emotions together for nearly 6 months rocketing us up ‘what ifs’ and plummeting us through ‘should haves’.
Last Spring, I called my father and told him that my wife was transgender.
Faith: (noun) ‘firm belief in something for which there is no proof’ – Merriam-Webster
Faith is a tough feeling to pin down with words (hence why I went to Merriam-Webster). So when I started relying on this thing ‘faith’ it took me by surprise. Why do I use this to comfort my wife and myself through our transition?
What makes cis spouses stay in a marriage through transition?